Cross-country skier breaks silence about mental illness: "Often thought I was going to die"
Östersund (Sweden) - She was considered one of the most promising talents in cross-country skiing in the world, but her body has been slowing her down for some time now. Now Ida Dahl (29) has given a deep, sometimes frightening insight into her inner life.
The Swede bravely opened up in a post on Instagram in which she addressed her challenges, especially on the mental side.
"The 24/25 season is coming to an end and not in my wildest dreams could I have imagined what hell this year would be. It has been a year of fear, worry, anxiety, tears and utterly numbing fatigue," she began her remarks.
She couldn't count how many times she had burst into tears from fear, "when my legs would no longer carry me, my heart would race, dizziness and fatigue would paralyze me and I would feel like someone was sitting on my chest," she wrote.
In recent years, she often felt weak, was plagued by illnesses and injuries and already suspected at the end of 2024 that none of this could be a coincidence.
Ida Dahl breaks her silence and reveals honest words about her mental illness
"It's definitely not just bad luck. It's more because I used to be a bit too eager and now I have to pay for it," she toldProxcskiing.
Her international breakthrough seemed to be on the horizon in 2023 when she achieved good placings in the World Cup. But instead of going up, things continued to go downhill for the Swede, both physically and mentally.
"I don't want to know how many times I've thought and accepted that I was going to die. And the number of hours I've spent on the phone with loved ones because the loneliness and fear are eating me up is certainly going on my phone bill," she writes in terrifying but brutally honest words about her condition last season, which she had to abandon before the end of the year.
Being exhausted may sound simple, she says, but no one who hasn't experienced it themselves can understand it. "The road back is long, unpredictable and hard, but I will probably learn a lot along the way that I will always carry with me. Last but not least, you gain a new perspective on life - and ultimately, I'm very lucky to have the life I have alongside it," Ida Dahl continues.
But there is one thing she will never feel: Gratitude for having to go through all this, because "I wish that no one ever has to experience this".